A Mission

Enough! For all the things that make our country great, there are some terrible truths that we must face... and soon. The -isms continue to weaken us. And something which should be our greatest source of pain and grief isn't even an -ism at all. It is child abuse.

Ten years ago my life changed when my own child clawed his way into this world. I know first-hand that parenting isn't easy. I also know first-hand that our children are truly voiceless, and until someone speaks up our nation will continue to accept child abuse as a sad consequence of stressed out, addicted, undereducated, or young parents. Throughout 2010 I will be tracking the child abuse stories across the country in this blog. Stand up! Become irate! Be silent no more!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

An observation

This past weekend, I found myself doing something I wouldn't normally do. And it was something that made me think of this blog.

My children (age 10 and 8) competed in a "dance competition."

I didn't know what to expect when we decided to enter the competition. I liked the idea of my son and daughter dancing together. I enjoyed watching them working as a team on something new and challenging for them. I was excited about the opportunity for them to showcase what they could do for other people outside our family and their dance studio. And I was encouraged because I knew that they would receive constructive criticism about their skills from one of three professional judges that work the competitions.

My only concern was that I really didn't like the idea of "scoring" dancing. The whole point of dancing is self-expression. It should be for pure joy -- not for earning a score as a part of a quest to be "the champion." That just feels "counter-dance" to me.

But when I got there, I started to regret that we had signed up for this. The dance competition was a slightly more educated cousin of the child beauty pageant.

I had many issues with the whole program. First of all, I had willingly thrown us into confrontational consumerism. It was a "pay to play" program. The entry fee was nearly $100 for this 3-minutes in the limelight, and then there was the cost of private instruction in preparation for the show. But that was just the tip of the iceberg. We hadn't spent much on costuming ... and it was obvious. Molly began to worry that they might lose points because their costumes were not glamorous and were blatantly "homemade." I too felt that self-consciousness rear it's head. And then when they rolled out the table of trophies (just about one for everybody!) -- I really felt like we should have just gone to the trophy shop and purchased something for the kids for $20 rather than going through this whole rigamarole.

The consumerism extended into the lobby, where it was $7 for a program. You basically had to have a program to know when you're kid danced. There was a ban on recording or taking pictures during your child's performance, because, of course, they wanted to sell you these goods out in the lobby. I didn't even ask about how much a DVD was because I saw that they were charging $1 to watch the DVD playing on the screen in the lobby (well, the first two "viewings" were free and then anything after that was $1). I did see the package for five photos -- 75 BUCKS! Insane. And of course there was merchandise and snacks and ... so on.

It just became an exerise for consumerism in my eyes.

But worse than what was happening in the lobby was what was happening on stage... and what relates to this blog.

Act after act brought up dancers, primarily girls. In many cases there were young girls in costumes resembling negligees, wearing heavy makeup (including false eyelashes) and jewelry. I watched as act after act engaged in, what I would call, highly sexualized activities. So there were five-year old girls shaking their rear-ends and chest thrusting in rhythm to music. There were 10-year olds rolling around on the floor, mimicking "angst" and other drama. And there was a teenage couple, dancing to a very melodramatic version of "Fools Rush In," and telling a convincing story of love and heartbreak.

I felt like the world's biggest prude.

But it was a wake up call to me. It signaled just how sexualized our culture for young girls has become. It reminded me of the many stories that I have read in the course of this blog about adult men who seduce underage teenage girls. While they cannot be absolved for this behavior, we must examine the overall culture. What messages are these men getting? What messages are these girls getting and sending.

It led me to realize that girlhood is endangered. Womanhood is being pushed younger and younger. Gone are the days of imaginary friends, skipping rope and constructing forts out of bedsheets in the basement. Instead we are in a day of hyper-drive for young girls where they receive messages earlier and earlier that to make it in this world they have to be beautiful, sexual young women.

I am sick...